Things seem to always be changing in the Burkholder home. Now that we are officially the Burkholder Four, that chapter of adoption-related change seems to have come to an end… more or less, right?

Wrong! Ever since Zoe came along, I have been struggling to figure out how to balance the ever-growing demands of motherhood and the need to meet the ever-increasing demands of my job as well. Those of you who know me well, know my heart has always been to be a stay-at-home mom. Well, the job that I “fell into” at the church provided me that luxury for 4 and a half years. While I had trouble balancing the part-time position with being a mom to Dante, it somehow always seemed to work. But things are always changing for us. The job changed — several times. The family has changed to include one more little one and the demands of both were becoming too much.

So… in April, I took a month of “maternity leave”. I re-evaluated priorities. The church re-evaluated the position. I was thinking of leaving the position permanently. For many reasons, it didn’t seem practical to quit, however (mostly because Jeff and I were sharing the position and I was afraid that quitting would complicate his job — which he LOVES!)

So, I came back to work in May, but the church staff was noticing my heart wasn’t in my job anymore. So, we sat down and talked about it. They’re splitting out the position and Jeff will move into a role a Director of Technical Arts and the administrative stuff that I’ve been doing under the title of Creative Arts Director, will be open for hire as of July 21.

I’d call it a mutual decision even though the church broached the topic first. It’s an “amicable breakup” to borrow an analogy, and I’m really happy, looking forward to having more time and energy for my kiddos. But it’s still a “breakup”. It’s still change. I still don’t deal like change. And it still means re-evaluating our finances, our schedule, and our life in general…

So as thrilled as I am, it’s bittersweet. And so I mourn the loss of one “chapter” of life, while excitedly awaiting the freedom to be the mom I always wanted to be. See-Saw Ride anyone? 🙂