So…how was your Thanksgiving?
Yeah? Uh-huh? I’m really not listening to you, ’cause mine was awesome. And no, I’m not talking surfer-dude, “Hey, you made pumpkin pie? Awesome!” I’m talking, “Hello? You want to give us a baby? Really?? Awesome!”
Yep, it happened! ZoÃ« Elaine Burkholder was born on Wednesday (the day before Thanksgiving), we got the call on Friday, met her on Saturday, and took her home on Sunday! Stay tuned to this spac; I plan on posting photos and whatnot as soon as I have the wherewithal to do so. 🙂
Wow…We’re now a family of four. Craziness ensues, I’m sure.
–The Burkholders: Jeff, Nean, Dante and ZoÃ«
So, there’s nothing new to report… And I guess that’s the big problem. As far as we know, our profile isn’t even out being viewed at the moment. There aren’t any specific prospects, and today I’m frustrated. I try to remain positive, knowing that God knows exactly which child is ours. But I guess I’m having a back week on this.
Part of the problem is the self-imposed “deadline”. It’s officially been a year since we decided to “go for it”. The decision to adopt “now” was made last September. And despite everything, I assumed that by now I’d have a baby.
So, the thing is, we continue to wait. On God. On the agency. On the birthmother somewhere out there trying to make the best choice for her child.
And, no… the nursery isn’t ready yet. I know you were wondering.
So, as usual, several people have been asking how the adoption is going. The answer: ? We’re still waiting. Our profile has been shown a couple times (one turned down because it was “too close”, one we turned down with some concerns about the particular situation, and one in NJ that we’re awaiting a response on). And that’s the update.
I’ve been learning a lot about waiting, patience, and even myself. Doing my best to take one day at a time. Most days I find I’m okay with the waiting. I enjoy spending time with Dante and Jeff, knowing that our time as “the Burkholder THREE” is limited. I know that our child is out there somewhere and God knows the perfect time, place, and situation for us. I’m learning to trust God in what HE knows to be the best child for us, despite my personal disappointment or frustration with the process. I’m learning about living in the present, taking one day at a time, and seeing the beauty in all people and the world around me.
Other days, the waiting seems insanely long. But isn’t that the way with anything?
Anyone wanna come help me get the nursery ready while we’re waiting? 😀 At least it’ll keep us busy.
Thanks for your continued love, prayers, and support!
Well, not really in our case.
I realized that we haven’t posted in a while; that’s largely because there’s not much to tell. We’re still wishin’ and hopin’ and prayin’ that somebody will look at our profile and say, “Hey, I like them!” We had a close call a few weeks ago, but that fell through. So, keep prayin’ with us!
I spoke with the social worker at Bethany this afternoon to get a bit more information regarding a situation she emailed us about yesterday. Jeff and I have decided to have our profile shown to this birth parent. Our profile (and any others the social worker has to show) will go to the mother next Friday (29th of June) for her to choose the family in which to place her child. As Jeff and I discussed this particular case, it seems this child would be perfect for us (based on the information we have received), but it’s all in His hands. This birth mother has many difficult decisions ahead of her (and this is only one of them) and we are wishing her peace as she makes her choices.
So, we got a letter in the mail the other day: The official acceptance of our home study. This, just by itself, was pretty cool. However, there was an extra-nifty aspect to it: Our home study was officially approved on June 13, 2007– our anniversary! Gotta love nifty little synchronicities like that. 🙂
Okay, so today was our in-home evaluation, and it went just swimmingly! Or at least, it seemed to; we’ll find out when our social worker sends us a draft. Dante had a great time talking to her. It seemed she had just as good of a time, too: she even read “I’m a Little Teapot” to him!
So, the next thing we do is Nean and her mom are going to work on a specialized family scrapbook, that birthparents will check out to see if they think we’d be good parents. And from there? We wait. We’ve been told from here it could be anywhere from 2 months to 2 years. So, we’ll work on turning the guest room into Dante’s new bedroom, and getting the nursery ready for a new little one, and other little household projects here and there. And also work on saving up the fundage to actually pay for all of this! Fun stuff. 🙂
We’re on our way! Woo-hoo!
I can’t begin to tell you how many people ask me on a fairly regular basis, “So how’s that adoption thing coming along?” My usual response is usually something to the effect of, “It’s coming along. It’s a lot of rush, rush, rush… wait…. rush, rush, rush… wait…” Sadly, that is the nature of the process. Hurry up and get all the paper work in so that you can wait for the evaluation of it and then get more paper work to fill out.
This morning we had our first of three interviews in the home study process. This was two hours of us and the social worker, Mary Beth, talking about our relationship, our jobs, our lifestyle, and anything else she decided to ask about. It was actually rather fun. Aside from the lack of sleep last night in anticipation. Turns out that Mary Beth is really nice (go figure, huh?). The whole interview was much less daunting than some would assume (actually far less painful than the actual preparatory questionnaire and forms).
Near the end of the interview we had to answer a bunch of yes/no questions that had to do with some of the legal aspects of the process. Here’s the part that made us feel good about how things were going:
“Have you ever been rejected in a home study or adoption program?”
“No… not yet…”
“Well, it looks like you should be okay this time too!”
Next up is… more forms (including physicals and more financial documentation). Our next interview will be 4/23 and that will be individuals (while one of us talks with Mary Beth the other will watch a video of some sort) and then a week later will be the in-home evaluation (assuming all our papers are done by then).
Stay tuned for more details! 🙂
So, it’s been a while since our last update… Life keeps marching on. We have turned in the second (or is this the third?) batch of paperwork for our adoption. This is the one where we had to prove we had wills, life insurance policies, etc. as well as answering all sorts of questions (pages in fact) on everything from parenting philosophy to personality to how we met each other and everything in between. We’re currently in the waiting process again — this time for our references to come back, so that we can schedule our interviews. And then, of course comes the visit in our home and — you guessed it — another batch of paperwork.
We’ve been celebrating with several friends though in the meantime: George and Holly had their first, Elia, on Jeff’s birthday in November. In the beginning of February came two more bundles of joy: Jeremy & Anita’s second, Tyler; and Peter and Brandi’s second, Elijah. Greg and Sara also just had their second, Grace, last Saturday (and are still waiting on finalization for Mathieu to come home from Haiti to live with them). Joel and Andi just received their referral for two little ones (a 2-year-old girl and an 8-month-old boy) from Ethiopia. Noah and Carol are expecting their first, Micah, in June. Ben and Rachel are getting married in June. So wow… as far as blessings go, we’re just counting and counting!
That’s about it for now. I think it’s time to go and feed the boys!
The questions of, “So, where are you in this whole adoption process thing?” have been ramping up of late, and I realize it’s been a while since our last post. So, here’s where we’re at:
Filling out forms, answering questionnaires.
“But wait,” I hear you say, “Isn’t that where you were a month ago? Doesn’t that mean that things are going really, glacially, astonishingly slowly?”
Yes. Yes, that’s what it means. Things are going ridiculously slowly. And the main culprit of that is our own, gonzo-crazy schedule. But, we’re making headway (slow as it is), so there’s light at the end of the tunnel. It’s just a very, very long tunnel. 🙂
Also, I discovered the meaning of the phrase, “comment spam,” as I’ve gotten about two dozen comments on the blog of late from people offering pictures of Egyptian lotus flowers that go to websites that have names like, “pharmacheap.com”. I may need to restrict the way comments are registered, just so I’m not forever having to delete things like that. Shouldn’t be too much of a hardship on you, the actual readers of the site. Please don’t let any changes prevent you from posting! I like reading them and pretending I have a social life…